• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Evilution

I am going to hire somebody. Not for Mighty Wombat; for my grown-up job. I’m reviewing resumes, separating the appropriate candidates from the hopeless losers. This position of absolute power allows me to decide whom I want to give a chance, and who can kiss my skinny white ass.

So let me tell you a little something. If you went to a public school in Kansas…pucker up.

The fine citizens of the Great State of Kansas are once again doing their best to graduate the most sorry-ass ignorant bastards. It’s bad enough that teaching science is illegal there. That pesky “Evolution” theory is being stricken from the books, and I expect other wild Satan-centered theories will follow – the circulation of blood; Earth revolving around the Sun, disease theory, etc.

But the Sunflower State’s drive to graduate the ignorant just took a giant leap forward. A high school teacher caught 28 students cheating. So she failed them. Apparently this wasn’t a very Christian thing to do. The Principal put down his Bible long enough to reverse the teacher’s decision and fire her for failing too many students.

It boggles my freakin’ mind.

So while Kansas-folk may not place any value in education, some of us do. I need to hire somebody with a little education and a little integrity. Thus, I’ve narrowed my search down to those folks educated in the other 49 states.

And a special shout out to Ohio – I know you are considering removing evolution from your school curriculum. Go right ahead. I’ve got people in 48 other states to hire.